Making Ripples: post-corporate adventures in Floyd County Virginia

Playing a better game of life - part 1

Life is a game in that there are barriers to success, rewards for success, opponents, and potential team mates. There are dimly-understood rules of a sort, penalties for failure, and you can't opt out of the game except by dying. The one saving grace is that you have a better chance of winning in life if you remain insouciant, that is to say by remaining carefree.

Just to make the game more complex, you will find there are winners, losers, and victims. In addition, your environment is an essential component of the game. Your survival depends on how well you understand it.

You will get as much pleasure out of playing the game as you are able to play it in a self-determined manner. You will experience misery out of the game to the extent that you consider that "they" are forcing you to play a part that you don't want to play.

Let's begin with the easiest concept to grasp and apply.

Life is a team sport. You will survive better when you are part of a team and you work toward the survival of the team. A good team for you is one that offers you a role you can play well and helps you to win in life. A bad team is one that exploits you and treats you as a consumable, as in discarded or eaten when no longer useful.

People join companies or even criminal gangs, for that matter, because it appears that they will be more likely to do better as an employee or gang member than on their own. People get married for the same reason.

Sometimes these decisions are made unwisely. In a hostile and stormy environment, it may seem that any port is better than braving the storm. As a result we may connect up with people who are crazier than we are and we live to regret our decision many times over.

Then we find ourselves bound into what seems like servitude because of our earlier decision and we stay in an abusive relationship or in a destructive work situation when we should be elsewhere.

Does any of this ring a bell for you? If it does, I have some suggestions for breaking free. If this is all too dreary and unreal, slip off and read Harry Potter or into some role-playing game. What I am about to suggest takes more courage than facing Voldemort.

The escape route from a bad decision is to make another decision to undo the earlier decision and to bear the consequences of having joined and then abandoned the destructive group or relationship.

This decision will cost you friends and you may lose every material possession. You could even suffer physical harm depending on the group you are separating yourself from. The upside is that you will emerge wiser and stronger and will go on to new and better things if you have learned from your experience.

If you try to escape the group or relationship without taking responsibility for publicly and formally departing the team, you essentially become a fugitive and this acts as a barrier to joining a better team.

It all comes down to integrity. You compromise your integrity by joining a group for the wrong reasons, or by staying with a group that reveals itself to be a destructive influence on you.

Taking a salary for a job you hate, sex in a relationship you despise, or drugs for favors - all of these are short-term pleasures with long-term destructive consequences. The longer you continue, the more damage you cause to your self-esteem and to your sanity in general.

In the next post, I will attempt to suggest how you can select a team that is right for you and will allow you to play a better game of enjoying life.

Tag: career advice

Observations from a Farmers Market...

I understand that as a micro business owner, about 25 to 30 percent of my time needs to be spent marketing and selling my services. I am beginning to suspect that in a business which develops repeat customers, sometimes I can do more than I realize, just by showing up on a schedule.

Saturday morning at 4:00AM, the roads south of Charlottesville were deserted and dark. My destination was the weekly City Market at the corner of First and Water Street in downtown Charlottesville.

By the time I arrived at 4:30, rain was gusting and the prospects for selling craft work was getting dimmer by the minute. A few exhibitors waited for the police and tow trucks to clear the parking lot.

The rain slackened by the time the last car was towed at 5:30AM. A wave of exhibitor vehicles swept into the lot and a frenzy of setup activity began. The rain turned to mist by 7:00 AM when the first customers marched purposefully onto the lot with their umbrellas.

For about twenty minutes the weather held off and then the rain came pouring down again. Exhibitors scrambled to put tarps over their displays. Some exhibitors put up side panels for their tents while others who were not so well-equipped took refuge in their vehicles or stood morosely under umbrellas.

This is primarily a produce market and the same people come to buy food every week rain or shine. Craft sales are more weather dependent, because most of the sales are impulse sales. Good weather encourages people to browse among the displays once they have purchased their produce. A rainy day discourages browsing and depresses sales.

The rain came and went for the next hour and we conferred with our neighbors on whether to wait it out or to call it a day. The general consensus was that if the weather did not clear by 9:30, we might as well pack it in and call it a day.

By 9;00AM, the rain stopped although the skies remained threatening. Buyers appeared in greater numbers and the craft exhibitors put out their wares again. Traffic got heavier as the hours went by and was nearly normal by noontime, when the market closed.

I had more requests for new design quotes than usual, even though impulse sales were down. I also had four existing customers drop by to discuss work in progress. This would have justified my being there even if I had generated no new business. I also noted that several new people asked if I would be there next week.

That's when it occurred to me that appearing at the same place week after week creates a feeling of stability in the minds of prospective customers. That may account for the fact that orders for custom work have increased every week, even though impulse sales and book sales vary widely.

The bottom line appears to be that showing up regularly has a beneficial effect on long-term business, even if immediate sales are affected by bad weather. Somehow, I hadn't expected that.

Has anyone else run into a similar phenomena?

Creative Time - part 3

Creative time is a period of outflow. Watching TV or listening to a lecture is inflow, as is reading, eating, and mindless vegging. There is a time and place for all of these activities, but creative outflow will give you more bang for your buck than any other activity you can think of.

All entertainment is inflow. It takes no effort and it plays with your emotions to make you feel that something worthwhile has happened. In some cases, it can even be inspirational, but it is no substitute for actually getting out and doing something yourself.

I am not condemning inflow, but there is a time and place for everything.  I read omnivorously, whether it is books, blogs or trade magazines. When I was a kid, I read almost every waking moment. I find TV entirely addictive when the presentation is cunningly designed to grab my attention and hold me enthralled. Until they insert a commercial, I will stand transfixed by the action, even though I am on my way to do something important. But, I found that reading a book or sitting in front of a TV after a long frustrating day at work did little to improve my mood or my condition in life.

I didn't come to this conclusion overnight. It actually took a number of years when I found that I was getting more satisfaction from little household projects accomplished without enough money or the proper tools than I was getting from my entertainment center. It was the accomplishment of creating something that wasn't there before that fired me up.

When I left high tech employment involuntarily in 2001, I knew I didn't want to throw myself back into the rat race, but I was not sufficiently prepared for post-corporate life. I had not done my homework and there was no Danger Quicksand - Have A Nice Day to prepare me for what I was about to encounter, so I did the tried and true approach that had always worked before. I threw myself into intense creative activity. I had no idea how to write a novel, and I still don't, but I wrote about 260,000 words over several months time. I also managed a household move to Virginia and began woodworking projects to customize the new home to our needs.

In the process, I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted to do with my life. The months of intensive writing gave me a new perspective on life and a deep appreciation of my relationship with my wife Gretchen. She made my transition from high tech employment to self-employment possible by providing the emotional and financial support that such a major transition requires. Her willingness to embrace change and her encouraging me to create were critical factors in my ability to produce results.

It was some time before that outflow began to pay off in terms of generating income, but it had already paid great dividends in terms of putting my attention on the future I wanted to create. That novel writing effort isn't wasted either, because it will get published as a historical fantasy now that I know how self-publishing works.

The takeaway from all of this is that the course of life does not run smooth, but you can prepare yourself to overcome any barriers you encounter by constantly making time to create. I don't think it matters what you create at first, just create. The mere act of constant creation will stimulate your thinking and you will find more things that need to be created. There is no danger is running out of things to create. Just do not get drawn into making things you are not interested in, because that is what "work" is all about. This creative time, when done properly, is an antidote to work and will add a new and brighter view to your life.

Prescott SpringHill Suites by Marriott - a place to avoid

When you stay in Prescott, Arizona, you just might want to avoid the Prescott SpringHill Suites by Marriott.

If the "inhospitality" that was given my friend Rosa Say is any indication, this hotel has definitely fallen away from their mission statement:  "The Prescott SpringHill Suites is an award-winning hotel with the highest standards in service and hospitality."

It would appear that the guest needs to be aware that service occasionally goes beyond being indifferent to being actively hostile. Maybe they need a sign at reception: "Your receptionist today is a Don Rickles understudy".

This is no accident, by the way. A receptionist like this would not last a second with responsible management in charge. The fact that someone with this destructive personality is on the front desk says worlds about Marriot management at this hotel. The place needs a major shakeup. Either the people in charge are too busy convincing upper management that they are meeting targets or they have no idea what customers want. Either way, the SpringHill Suites of Prescott is not a place to stay unless all other hotels are full.

I will be very interested to see if the SpringHill Suites of Prescott or Marriott is planning to take action to remedy this situation.

Creative Time - part 2

If you are not allowing yourself time every week to create/build/draw/compose as you wish, you are needlessly shortchanging yourself. You may even be shortening your life.

I am not trying to make you wrong for not doing so, because it has taken me years to realize how vital "creative time" can be. It may seem like a needless luxury, something you can take up when you "retire", but for most people the time you spend creating is the time when you are truly alive.

Creating is "doing something", not sitting passively and being "done to". Watching TV is not creative time even if you are watching HGTV or the shows where they design and build choppers and exotic cars. Creative time is building your own motorcycle, or car, or remodeling your own kitchen as well as writing your book, etc..

There is no money excuse for not creating. If you don't have the money to build a motorcycle yet, design one. Pencils and paper, even software is available for people living from day to day.

Creating is not something you do for an audience. If your nerves are up to it and you choose your audience well, then feel free to show off the results of your creative activity. Be aware, however, that "toxic individuals" are attracted like flies to any creative activity and they will do their best to dismiss your efforts as amateurish and insignificant.

These toxic individuals are the reason that much of the population is afraid to create anything. These toxic individuals often set themselves up as "experts" in the fields of art and literature and try to act as gatekeepers to determine what is acceptable and in vogue. Do yourself a favor and cut these people out of your life if you ever expect to achieve anything of value.

Really talented people are not threatened by others and will find ways to encourage you to continue. Most will say "Keep writing every day" or "Keep painting" if you ask them for advice. That is time-tested advice. You learn writing by writing and painting by painting. Same with rebuilding cars or remodeling houses. There is only so much you will learn by watching others. To grow in any field, you need to get busy and DO something, preferably every day.

I take time to create something new every day because it is that important to me, but there was a time when I was only able to find a few hours a week in which to create. When the pressure of business made me cut out those few hours, I quickly found myself on a downhill slope emotionally. When I finally realized that creative time was a lifeline to sanity, I put creative time back in to my life and have never looked back.

If, on reading this, you are still skeptical, I suggest that you look around in your environment and see who would be displeased if you were to take time for creative activity. If there is someone like that, they will feel threatened if you were to become more cheerful or successful. You need creative time in your life, but you may have to take steps to make sure that you have that freedom. Creative time is like water to a thirsty person. There are a few people who delight in cutting off your water.

I will suggest some ways you can overcome obstacles and get creative time in my next post.

Creative Time - part 1

If you are one of the many people who work at a tedious job for a company that treats you like machinery, there is at least one thing you can do, short of getting a better job, which will improve your chances of staying sane. This one thing is to introduce "creative time" into your life.

Creative time will help you endure almost any job or unhealthy life situation. It is so therapeutic that it has even helped inmates survive imprisonment! The secret of its success:

Creative time works miracles when it is time that you have full control of some self-directed creative activity.

It doesn't have to be very long, but it does have to be time that you have to yourself. It rehabilitates you spiritually because it unleashes your creativity and gives you time to create an effect on something according to your own desires.

Your ability to create is a spiritual quality and this often gets blunted in work situations where the company wants you to follow scripted routines instead of applying common sense and logic.

Those of you who work in customer service departments are often forced to follow truly insane patterns of behavior, because management has decreed that call-handling statistics are more important than customer satisfaction. This is the type of job that penalizes you for caring about customers and working for real results.

The longer you work at such a degrading job, the sicker you will become. Perhaps there is no short-term alternative to working in this hell-hole, but there is a gradient you can follow that will help you survive until you can locate a job that will provide both income and sanity.

"Creative time" is so important to me personally, that I am amazed that I didn't mention it in my unconventional guide to surviving corporate employment. It is more than kicking back and watching the tube, so I will go into more detail in the next few posts.

A tip of the hat to one of my favorite office blogs, BigPictureSmallOffice for this post that mentions "creative time".

La Taza Coffeehouse - a new treasure in Charlottesville

Sometimes you walk into a warm and inviting restaraunt for the first time and magic happens. You immediately know this is the place you have always been looking for.

Melissa Easter's La Taza Coffeehouse is one of those extraordinary places. They serve the best lattes I have ever tasted and they have WiFi. What more can I say? Other than the fact that the hospitality and the food are on a par with the coffee.

Melissa has traveled extensively and has brought back marvelous food and design ideas from distant places. The food is Cuban and the coffees are from Costa Rica, Columbia, Panama, Guatamala and Mexico. The hospitality is genuine and the service is amazing, considering that the coffeehouse has only been open since August 3rd! early July.

Melissa knows how to do things in style. She has a beautiful website, the coffeehouse ambiance is laid-back Latin American elegance and the overall effect is enchanting. She intended this to be the kind of place where friends congregate frequently to socialize and enjoy themselves, and has succeeded admirably.

Gretchen and I had the opportunity to meet Melissa's husband Jeff Easter while he was doing some work at the La Taza.  Jeff is a contractor who does high-end remodeling. He is a self-made man who has a great deal of insight on what it takes to assist others. He and Melissa exemplify the merits of self-employment in a time of increasing corporate instability. Jeff, Melissa, and Jeff's brother Barry run several businesses in the vicinity of the La Taza Coffeehouse. All are worth checking out.

I realize that I may be ruining a good thing by letting you all in on this hidden treasure, but I cannot in good conscience keep it to myself. You will find the La Taza Coffeehouse at 407-B Monticello Road Charlottesville, VA 22902. The phone number is 434-296-TAZA (8292). You will know you are at the right place when you see this:

Enjoy yourselves and remember to tell them that you read about La Taza in this blog.

I have no connection with La Taza other than the fact that I really enjoy eating there and like the people involved.

Getting back in the game...

When you are unemployed, whether by choice or by being terminated, you lose one of the major reference points of your life. Whether you plan to or not, you frequently define yourself to others by the company you work for.

When someone says, "What do you do?"

You probably respond with something like, "I work at ______."

It's a convenient way of saying that you are somebody of consequence, even when company _______ has only four employees. When you are unable to associate yourself with a company, you may suffer a loss of importance in your own eyes, if not in the eyes of others. A person without a team is a stranger in a strange land.

This can act as a huge handicap when you are trying to get back in the game after having been out of work for a long while. Each new rejection acts like a reinforcement of the fear that you are not good enough to be on a team.

There are several things you can do to change this sorry state of affairs.

First of all, ask youself if you really want to go back to work for someone else again? If the mere thought makes you cringe, you should consider whether it is time to start a business of your own. Too many people go through the motions of getting hired again when they already know deep inside that they are sick and tired of working for others. The simple decision to be self-employed will often pick your spirits up.

If you aren't ready for self-employment, go about your job search intelligently. Stop throwing resumes at every job opportunity you see in the papers. If you want to become part of company X, you must find someone in company X or find someone who can introduce you to someone in company X.

Why is that? It is because 85% of all positions are filled by personal referral. A personal referral will get you past the barriers erected by Human Resources/Personnel. A personal referral also cuts through most of the arbitrary crap that gets added to job requirements to protect the hiring manager from having to make a judgement call. By arbitrary crap, I mean things like degree requirements rather than competency.

The next thing to do is read my book, Danger Quicksand - Have A Nice Day and actually apply what you read to your current condition. The book was written for people who are out of work, not just for those who are working and unhappy about it.

I get concerned when I see that someone has read my book and plans to apply the material when they are employed again. It gives me the idea that they may have skipped over the key sections on finding and keeping work.

There are several places in the book where I stress the importance of networking and describe how to network at the most basic level, that is by telling all of your acquaintances that you are looking for work of a particular kind. In most cases, you will be able to find work through personal connections that you will make in Starbucks, at the gym, or by doing volunteer work.

If you do not have an abundance of connections and you are looking for professional employment in the high tech area, I strongly suggest that you sign up with LinkedIn at linkedin.com.

If you are not in high tech, there are other online networking services to check out and you should pick one that seems right for you. The only recommendation I have is that you select one that connects you through introductions, otherwise you may get spam from people seeking to use the system for soliciting business.

One last suggestion, which I discuss in more detail in my book, is that you should make sure you get daily exercise and enough sleep so that you stay as healthy as possible. If you find that you cannot lift your spirits enough to do an effective job of finding work, you might consider getting career counseling of some sort. You may find that career counseling is all that you need to get you moving again. If it doesn't, then you might want to explore counseling which puts you more at cause over your life.

It all comes down to the fact that you got yourself into this situation and you can get yourself out. All it takes is a clear head and a willingness to do whatever it takes to make a change for the better.

Now you may find every reason to disagree with what I have written, but you will do yourself a favor if you just consider that you are going to pull yourself out of this spot and follow the steps I have suggested. They are based on observations of many, many real-life recoveries from unemployment.

If you are currently unemployed, try these simple actions and let me know how things work out.

Living the good life...

I love creating things to make life more pleasant and I have finally figured out how to share the game with others.

My particular niche in the vast world of custom woodworking is designing things that can't be found in stores.

When I find a client that has an interesting requirement and is willing to participate in the design process, it is like an out of body experience. This is what makes design one of the most desirable occupations i can imagine.

We do this routine where the client gives me a verbal description and I sketch along as she talks. Then the client sees the sketch and starts adding features. In no time at all, we have a workable solution to the client's problem and I get to take the sketches home and create a detailed set of drawings that will allow me to come up with a proposed price.

Sometimes, I catch fire during this final design phase and manage to tweak the design into something out of the ordinary. I run it by the client to make sure I am still on track and we quickly agree on a final design and a budget.

This project started as a booster chair much like the ones I did last year. Somehow our design evolved into this more comfortable and elegant version which looks like a booster chair for a future astronaut. This booster chair was specially designed and built for a little girl named Laura. We will just have to wait and see if she grows up to be an astronaut.

Meanwhile, I suddenly have my hands full designing custom furniture for children. Somehow I have managed to pull in a number of new clients with challenging assignments.

It is a nice counterpoint to writing about business and self-publishing. Working with wood requires a steady hand and a lot of concentration or you end up with expensive kindling wood. I find designing and building these pieces is a nice balance to sitting at the computer. Now, if only there was more time in the day...

For more information on my designs in wood, you can visit www.box-carts.com

Tag: woodworking

Life isn't fair - success comes at a price

I have this picture on the wall near my desk as a reminder that sheer determination is essential for survival, but intelligence is necessary for success.

I wrote a post about this lizard when I first started blogging, but as I still get inspiration from this picture, I thought the message might bear repeating in a new framework of reference.

This lizard got in trouble because it was careless. Buffy is too slow to catch most small creatures and normally is content to watch them. This one must have practically climbed over her in order to end up in this predicament.

Once caught, however, the lizard did not give up. It didn't struggle and thrash helplessly, but it was planning something as you can see by the twitching of its tail. That's why the end of its tail is a blur.

It was actually creating a problem for the cat. Buffy wanted to set the lizard down to get a better grip, but the lizard would not let Buffy pin it down with a paw. At the moment of this photo, matters were at an impasse.

The cat finally lost its advantage when it attempted to change its grip on the lizard. The lizard escaped.

You are probably thinking that freedom was the only thing on the lizard's mind. Not at all! It was actually regretting that it had just failed in its attempt to be the first lizard in history to skin a cat.

The lizard had a firm grip on the cat's tongue and was prepared to turn the cat inside out if it could have gotten a place to set its hind feet. Once again, we see an example of failure of execution due to mis-estimation and poor planning.

This is a parable that explains the poor showing of some dot-com companies. They will have an absolutely brilliant concept, ambitious goals, but an unrealistic assessment of resources.