Making Ripples: post-corporate adventures in Floyd County Virginia

On the subject of help

When you attempt to help someone or some organization, you are doing something quite adventurous!

Your intentions may be honorable and your actions may represent a sacrifice of time and money but the reactions you get from those you wish to help can be quite discouraging.

This should not deter you from trying to help, but it might give you pause if you realized how many barriers exist to effectively helping others. Some of these barriers can be circumvented by a little study of the situation. Other barriers are as solid as if set in stone and you will break your spirit trying to help people who are grimly holding these barriers in place.

Gaining some understanding of how help is viewed by a potential recipient will go a long way toward making your life happier and more fulfilling.

You want to help and wish to share your experience, money, support, and advice with aomeone else who appears to need it for any of the following reasons:

a. They are out of work
b. They have just suffered a crushing loss of some kind
c. They are just not doing well in life and you can see why
d. They experience one disaster after another
e. They are on a downward spiral because of drug use or alcohol abuse
f. Everything they try to accomplish seems to turn out badly for no apparent reason
g. They are in a relationship with someone you care for
h. They are hard working people who have fallen on hard times

These examples have to do with circumstances and these circumstances do not always correlate with the barriers that may be present and can prevent you from helping effectively.

Here are some barriers you can encounter:

• A person or group must want help before you you can actually do anything for them. Otherwise, they will skillfully waste your help or worse blame you for making their situation worse.
• The second point is that they must feel that the help you offer is acceptable to them and will help them achieve what they want to achieve. If you force help on someone, or "persuade" them to let you help, they will grudgingly take your help and will find ways to make less of it.
• Even if you are providing help that the person or organization has specifically requested, you can run afoul of some very basic human traits and will be heavily criticised.

Let us say that your help involves doing things which bring about desirable changes like more income or an improved reputation. The person or organization can become very upset when these changes require changes in areas they did not expect to change.

For example: You arrange to get someone a job and they now grumble because they have to show up at work on time every day. Or: You reorganize a company to get more production and you find that management wanted you to improve things without making any changes that would affect them.

• Furthermore, some people and organizations are very hard to help. They view offers of help with suspicion as they know they would never help anyone except to take advantage of the situation.

What to do:

Do not stop trying to help, just look at how effective you are at helping and how the help is being received. Is the help being acted upon? Is the situation changing as a result of your help? Do you keep giving the same advice over and over? Do you keep giving money with no results to show for it? Is the person or organization moving on up to helping others, or do they just keep on asking for more help?

As a side check, are you willing to accept help from others? Some people are stuck in a mode where they can only outflow help. This is not a good thing as people want to help you in return and if you refuse offers of help, they will find ways to make you uncomfortable.

Be willing to accept help and to give help when needed for situations you care about. If you are being forced to help, you might want to rethink things. Enforced help is destructive whether it is required of you or forced upon you.

There is an exchange that takes place when help is given correctly. If you help someone who needs your help, and they benefit from it, you get satisfaction from having changed someone's life for the better. If your help is resented or resisted, or possibly demanded, you will probably feel used or abused and your willingness to help evaporates.

Work on getting yourself into a frame of mind where you are free to help when it makes sense or to receive help when offered and you will find yourself creating new relationships with ease. Those of you who are already doing that know how much can be gained from freely helping others and receiving help in turn.

The best kind of help is a cheerful two-way flow which benefits both parties involved.

In Floyd County, you never know who is going to offer help when you need it

As I get older, I really appreciate the help I get from my friends. I'm pretty handy with computers and cameras and technical stuff, but firewood presents a challenge that is best met with the aid of extra helping hands.

Gretchen and I managed to burn through a huge load of wood in the last few weeks and I was getting worried that the incoming storm would catch me with no firewood in our staging area on the front porch. This staging area holds about a ton and a half of wood and it was really getting low this morning.

Artist John Wade came to my rescue today and we transported and stacked a months supply of firewood in a matter of hours. He drove up from Union School Road to help me out and I will work a trade with him to design an online gallery to showcase his art.

John works in oils and has created some powerful pieces that deserve a wider audience. I have had the pleasure of framing two of his recent pieces and am looking forward to working on more of his work. The top piece is called "Bones" and the bottom one is titled "Packing Out".

He works on several pieces at the same time and his studio home on Union Schol Rd is filled with works in progress. He also paints murals.

When his website is operational, I will post a link so you can see more of his work.

Think you could donate one of your old digital cameras to a local charity?

The wonderfully dedicated couple who run Portable Produce out of their Wildfire Pottery Shop need a working camera to replace the one that just died. If you have a digital camera that you are no longer using, consider giving it to Portable Produce.

In addition to helping a lot of other people in Floyd, you may claim a charitable deduction if you wish. Call Karen Day at 540-357-5657 for the best way to get the camera to them.

Karen Day and McCabe Coolidge are two of the most giving people I know. We in Floyd, Virginia, were fortunate when they joined our community a few years ago.

They been dedicating their lives to service in far flung countries, in the inner cities and everywhere they have lived. Their actions have brightened the lives of many others even in the few short years I have known them. In that time they have personally created Portable Produce, Wonder Gardens, Healthy Snacks, and Empty Bowls, all which help the less fortunate.

They set a splendid example of how artists/entrepreneurs can find time to help others while struggling to make a living themselves. These two are the real thing and they attract support from like-minded individuals all over Floyd who donate produce, food and time to share with those in the county who are not so fortunate.

For details on the many programs they create and support visit http://plentylocal.org/home.html

If you don't have a camera to donate, you might want to donate time or food or other forms of support. Call Karen and see what they need.